My Kiss Goodbye
by Disney23
Summary: A controlling mother, autistic brother, and stalker ex boyfriend equal for an interesting life. Lucky for Ash she has the theater to escape to with her other family that'll do anything for her. Especially the charming gorilla that shes slowly falling for despite all her protests with heart. Because in the back of her mind she knows something will go wrong.
1. Chapter 1

Ash's POV

I inhaled in the scent of the theater. It smelt like melting vanilla bubbling in a pot on the stove. I sighed to myself my life was pretty rough right now, and this is the one place I can go to get away from my problems, I heard screaming off in the distance, Well at least most of them.

I directed my eyes over to Gunter and Mike yelling at each other yet again, and probably over the dumbest thing to. Then I noticed Rosita in the corner of the stage banging her head on one of the beams. I giggled to myself and walked onto the stage maybe accidentally shoving mike with my foot.

"Careful Rosita there's a moody teenager coming your way" Mike smirked in my direction. I turned to glare which probably didn't help my case but I don't care.

"Oh hi sweetie is Mike giving you hard time again, I'll go and give him a stern talking to-" she rambled on but I stopped her "no no everything is fine I could care less what mike says anyways" I growl the last part out slightly glancing over at him.

Rosita sighs looking over at the argument still going on between the two "I wish Gunter would take some advice from you, they've been going at it for thirty minutes now."

Ash laughed as Rosita spoke up again "but really if you need me to go knock some sense into him for you Ash I'll-" she sighed interrupted again

"Wait someone's bothering you Ash, is it Lance again I'll go knock some sense into him. He better stay away from you or I'll-" Ash stopped his rambling by setting her hand on his elbow causing Johnny to look down at her. His features softened as he noticed she was laughing. He smiled taking in her appearance, she looked so confident with her stellar smile and piercing eyes altogether she was utterly beautiful.

"Hey Get a room you two"they heard mike snap. Both of them snapped there heads down towards the mouse a slight blush creeping up there cheeks as they ignored each others gaze. He's just a friend Ash kept reminding herself, _but if he's just a friend then why do you look at him like that a_ voice inside her said. She shook her head ignoring the voice and focused on what was going on in front of her.

"O my gosh Mike is it that time the month or what" Gunter teased. Everyone started laughing uncontrollably, and for once Mike seemed at a loss for words.

It's not that we don't like Mike; in fact ever since the live performance we've all been like one tightly wound family, and families fight ecspecially when the family has a 6 am rehersal.

Ash was pulled out her thoughts by Meena clearing her throat as an attempt to get the group to settle down. " Mr. Moon would like all of us to come up to his office" she said qiuetly. They all nodded there heads in silence almost like they were saddened to leave the the stage.

Ash walked to the front of the stage with Johnny right next to her she was trying her best to ignore his eyes hazel eyes, but she couldn't help but look up when he offered her his hand to let her off the stage. She smiled and took his hand he's such a good friend she thought ignoring the flips her stomach was doing at his touch. Besides he would never feel the same for me if I liked him; which I don't.

"there they are the most talented singers this world has ever seen" Buster Moon said enthusiastically.

"Infact we have another performance coming up tommorrow it's a fundraiser at the local hospital" he said still smiling with joy. As everyone wondered how he had so much energy in the morning.

"What's the fundraiser for" Meena asked quietly.

"Well good question infact it's for autism awareness" Buster said smiling even more. Ash stepped back tripping over Johnny from the shock. He lifted her up by her arms carefully setting her back on the ground and They both had to force themselves from not sighing at the touch.

Everyone stared at her awkwardly as she was stood back on her feet, but she was still shaking slightly. She almost forgot that she didn't tell any of them that her brother had autism been diagnosed with autism. Of course it was slightly before the auditions for the show, so she didn't feel like telling anyone. Especially after Lance met Caleb and took it upon himself to point out everything that seemed to be wrong with.

Of course her mother didn't know that, nor would she believe her. She thought Lance was some god that was going to protect Ash forever. In fact if it was up to her mother Ash and Lance would probably be married by now.

she snapped out of her daydream by Rosita shaking her slightly cooing softly " honey are you alright? Do you need to talk?"

She looked around nervously now was not the time or place to tell them about her brother, so she just shook her head no, and tried to focus on what was going on in front of her.

"Great now that we are all good Mike you'll be singing Winter Wonderland I really think it fits your voice" Moon said handing him the score. "You got it boss" Mike saluted walking back down the stairs.

I tried her best to focus on what Buster was saying, but all that I could think about was what if my mom and brother came to the fundraiser, what if everyone hated him; or worse judged him. What if her mom didn't like the fact that she wasn't singing Lance anymore, what if Caleb pulled one of his crazy stunts like spitting on people, cussing, peeing on plants, or had one of his nightmares again.

She must of looked worried because Johnny knelt down next to her and whispered "really tell me what's wrong you look like you're about to pass out."

"I'll tell you later it's a long story" she sighed looking down. "Ok got it just try not to worry about it" he whispered again hoisting himself up, but keeping his hand on her shoulder to attempt to keep her calm. She smiled to herself maybe she could trust him with her secret.

"Meena you'll be performing hallelujah, and it needs to be full of soul" he said while searching his desk for the music. She smiled really big as he handed her the music "got it thanks Mr. Moon."

"And Rosita and Gunter you have rockin around the Christmas tree and it needs to be spicy no" Moon laughed.

"Oh it'll be spicy" Gunter said full of seriousness, and Moon just chuckled.

Moon turned his attention towards me, and his smile is so big I think his face is going to pop. "And you malady are going to sing have yourself a merry little Christmas" I open my mouth to protest, but he interrupts me "and no protesting" he states. I close my mouth and force a smile. "That's more like it" he says as I turn around.

I look down at my score to see that it says duet on it. I inwardly groan and turn back around. "Uh Moon why does my cheesy Christmas song say duet on it" I say flatly.

"Excellent question and it's because you'll be performing it with Johnny" he says directing his arms towards Johnny. I gulp nervously its not because I don't want to perform with Johnny it's because I don't want to screw this up. I mean it's a fundraiser to raise awareness for autism. I mean that could help my brother, and I've never been good at performing with someone. Then again that someone was Lance, so maybe it will be different.

I feel like I'm going to hyperventilate when suddenly I look up to see Johnny and how excited he looks, and I immediately calm down because I know Johnny isn't Lance, and he won't hurt me like Lance did.

"Well then we better get to practicing" I say sitting down at the piano. He slides next me and my stomach does somersaults at the closeness.

"Hey Ash you know you can trust me right" he said looking down with a slight blush. "Of course I know that you're one of the few people I do trust" she whispered looking down probably blushing now to. They both smiled at each other and started working on their song.


	2. Chapter 2

Johnny's POV

I glanced over at Ash, while she stared intently at the score of music in her hands, trying to figure out what was wrong with her today. One minute she would glare at the piece of paper trying to burn a hole through it with her eyes, and the next she looked like she wanted to cry hystericlly.

when she finally looked up at me she looked helpless, and all I wanted to do was take away all of her problems so she wouldn't have to feel like this. If only I could wrap my arms around her pettite frame tightly holding her as close to me as I could, and protect her from anyone that tried to hurt her like Lance, her family, or just anyone in general.

"Johnny" Ash said shaking him slightly. He snapped out his trance to see she was slightly giggling which caused him to smile; I mean she was happy at the moment, and he didn't even do anything, so that's good; right."Yeah what is it" he said looking her right in her piercing blue eyes. "Well you kinda were day dreaming" she said in a teasing way. He smiled this was the Ash he knew she was happy and playful, and that's why he liked her the way he did.

"Well actually I was just thinking about what was causing you to have a panic attack earlier" he said looking straight in the eye with most serious face Ash ever saw. It wasn't a scary serious or anything like that, but it was a seriousness full of worry and care which made Ash feel woozy because it meant he genuinely cared about her unlike so many other people.

"Johnny listen I really want to tell you, but right now" she said motioning around the room with her arms "is not the time or place, but I will tell you soon." He nodded in agreement understanding her completely.

" Although there is something you could do to make me feel better" she said looking straight into his hazel eyes. "Oh yeah and what would that be" he teased. She paused "teach me how to play the piano" she beamed. Johnny just smiled at her excited that she wanted to learn something new.

"Well let's start easy first by just learning what keys play which notes" he said while she scooted closer to him, and he grabbed her hands and placed them on the keys. She nodded still smiling, but intently staring down the keys with pure determnation at the same time.

* * *

It took about an hour, but she finally knew twinkle twinkle little star, and she was quite proud of herself, and Johnny could tell too.

"As much fun as that was we should probably start working on the song for the fundraiser" he said chuckling. Ash's face seemed to drop though at the thought of the fundraiser which was weird, but Johnny got an idea.

"How about I help you play our song on the piano" he beamed. Her face seemed to brighten at the idea, so he grabbed her hands and tested them on the keys as she skimmed the song.

She let her hands move freely across the keys under Johnnys strong, but gentle grip. She inhaled his scent it was intoxicating. She sighed why couldn't she just let herself love him.

Maybe it was just him, but it seemed like her small hands fit perfectly inside his big ones like they were made for each other.

As they finished the song they stared into each other's eyes trying to figure out how it was possible for everything in that moment to fit perfectly from there hands to there voices blending in harmony. The two didn't even notice the small crowd gathering outside the door to listen to them until they all started clapping.

"That was utterly beautiful" Mr. Moon spoke up seeming at a loss for words. The two both blushed slightly scooting away from each other to ma this moment less awkward. "No it wasn't that good, I wasn't even singing full out" I said looking down. Rosita gave me a look of disbelief "Well then if that wasn't full out I can't wait to hear what it'll sound like tommorrow at the fundraiser because that was beuatiful."

Johnny and Ash looked at each other for a split second before Ash broke the silence. "Well it's getting late I think we should all go" she said standing up quickly trying to escape the room. Everyone agreed and shuffled out behind her.

Once I caught up to her I asked "do you want me to give you ride it's dark, and I don't want you getting hurt" he said, but the real reason was because he didn't want to go home and be alone all night. With his dad not there the place seemed empty and creepy, and he hated it. It just kept reminding him that he might be alone forever since his dad's release date hadn't been decided yet.

"Johnny I'm sorry I know you don't want to go home, but it'll be ok I promise. Besides my moms picking up tonight" Ash said apologetically. He was about to say something else, but he felt someone wrap themselves around his waist. He looked down to see Ash hugging him, so he knelt down to make it easier.

"I promise it will get better" she said wrapping her arms around his neck. "Thanks Ash I believe you" I said near tears. She was going to say something else, but someone honked there horn, so she jumped away from him to see that it was her mother, and she didnt look happy. "Bye Johnny" she whispered shuffling into her moms car. "Bye Ash, see you tommorrow" he added waving goodbye as she did the same.

* * *

Ash's POV

"Honey I don't think you should be hugging that gorilla, what if Lance saw you" her mother stated. Ash groaned wanting to bang her head on the window, but she didn't. "Mom Lance and I broke up because he cheated on me" Ash growled.

Her mother sighed "obviously he has a good reason to I mean first off you did this singing thing without him, then you were never home to give him some love, and finally your off with other guys while he was at home" my mom lectured.

"Mom you don't even know what happened" I pleaded looking into the back seat to check on Caleb. He was sleeping and if I wasn't his sister I would've thought that he was normal.

"In my opinion honey you could've given him a little more... I don't know spice" she said "You know I saw him outside your apartment the other day maybe you should give him another chance and fix all of your mistakes" she said smiling. At this point I just decided I wasn't going to even to listen to her. I would nod my head every once in awhile and she never even noticed a difference.

Once I got inside my moms house I was starting to drift asleep slowly when I heard my mom talking about taking Caleb to a fundraiser that was going to raise money for autism research.

Ash just nodded her head and said something about that's a great idea before she went to her old room for some sleep. She knew that she left a sleepy Caleb with her mom, but she didn't care she was so tired, but her opinion changed and she knew it a was bad idea once she heard the screaming coming from downstairs.

A/n

So I've been getting some hate on my other social media accounts for making Ash's brother autistic because I don't understand how autism works, but the thing is I actually have a brother that has autism and he's had it for ten years. Infact my brother inspiration for Caleb in the story, and alot of the events that will happen in the story are actually true. They happened when my brother was around Calebs age and everyday i wrote what happened down so one day I could share with the world what its actually like to have autism.

The media potrays people with autism to be heartless killers that are dangerous to all, but really they're not. I would know to because I have met so many different people with autism of all ages, and there all so kind, smart, and lovable. Yes I know people will forever be afraid of m brother because of his melt downs, but honestly they're not his fualt.

When he was younger and first started school they would restrain him, and he wuld come home bruised and would have nightmares in the middle of the night, so someone would have to get uo and let him cry into there shoulder. So now he is older and smarter so when one of the teachers tries touching him he'll scream and attempt to get away from them. It's heartbreaking sight to watch espically as his sister, but /I know there is nothing that I can do to help since I'm just a student.

Now lets step away from the depressing stuff and look at all the good things. He's a ery intelligant boy with a photographic memory espically when it comes to spelling and movies. He knows what tthe release date is to every movie that has ever comeout, and can even tell you the release date of any movie ten years into the future, and he is never wrong.

Plus he can spell like nobod else I don't think that he has evr gotten anything less than an A on every spelling test that he takes.

He didn't start talking to us until he was about six, and we weren't even the first ones that he talked to. He talked to his service dog Chewey or Chewbacca first. He was about six when we got Chewey and ever since his life has been so much better, not perfect but better.

We went from a tantrum every week to about one every other month. It was great except that the didn't Chewey at school, and even attempted to block my family from getting inside the building. If you want read more about Chewey google Chewey and Kaleb Drew.

When he did start talking to us it was through movie dialogue. Me and my sister would renact movies with him and Chewey, and his favorite movie was star wars. He always anted to be Han Solo, and of course Chewey was Chewbacca. To this day its still his favorite movie.

In conclusion I just want to say that i do know what I'm talking about and people should not be so quick to judge. I did not just right this for the fun of it, I wrote it to inform people, and to help push them to make a difference. No he's not perfect nor will he ever be but my family loves him with all of our hearts and we always will.


	3. Chapter 3

**I would like to thank everyone that is supporting me on this especially Kitari Hakiashi, DC Hart, and TheHoon57. Your guys reviews mean a lot to me so thank you.**

* * *

Ash's POV

I groggily opened my eyes to see a hyper Caleb jumping up and down on my bed while squealing with delight. I smiled at the sight of him being happy and full of energy this morning. When he noticed I was awake his smile grew ten times it size and he made a high pitched noise I couldn't place. He jumped on top of me wrapping his frail arms around my waist giving me the tightest hug.

"I know I know its been a whole ten hours since you saw me last, how did you survive" I state dramaticlly picking him up in my arms so I could cradle his small body close to me. He giggles loudly his blue eyes shining with excitement. I kissed his head standing up from my bed still holding him in my arms.

I walked down the stairs still cradling his four year old body in my arms. It was hard to believe that he would be five in four months because he was so small; wait if he turns five in April that means he'll start kindergarten next year. I stopped in the middle of the stairs thinking about what school would be like for him, I mean he can't even talk yet so how is he supposed to communicate with his teachers and peers. What if the kids picked on him how was he supposed to defend himself. Ash couldn't help but worry about all the terrible things that could happen to her baby brother because all she wanted was for him to be safe.

Technically now that she thought about it he was supposed to start preschool this year, but he couldn't do to his occupational therapy taking up a lot of his time. Ash held her brother a little closer to her which didn't seem possible but she did. He made eye contact with her crossing his eyes and sticking his tongue out; something he had seen many cartoon characters do. Ash grinned at his cheerful attitude, and once they reached the kitchen she set him down in his usual spot in dining room.

she jogged to the kitchen to see that her mother hadn't started breakfast nor had she even gotten up; not that she was surprised. Ash groaned at the thought of cooking it was the one thing she hated more than anything else, but she heard the impatient shrieks from Caleb and she knew she had to hurry. So she tossed some eggs on the stove and three slices of bread in the toaster and got to work.

She put the toast on separate plates and managed to get the eggs out of the skillet only dropping a few on the wooden floor. Once she was done she paused to admire her work, no it wasn't gourmet, but it was pretty good considering that she made it.

She pranced back into the dining room with the plates to see her mother taking selfies with Caleb probably on Snapcat. She grinned slightly at the sight it was cute to see them sharing a moment like this. She set down the plates on the table and dug in. Once she finished she was about to take it to the sink, but her mother stopped her.

"Since you made breakfast I'll do the dishes" her mother smiled. I nodded my head smiling to it was nice that she offered to do that especially after there argument last night.

I ran up the stairs to my room to get ready for the fundraiser today. Once to my closet I picked up one of my old Christmas sweaters and a leather skirt to go with it. I added some bell earrings and put my black beats on my head. Now finally I must decide on a pair of shoes; I was going to wear my usual red converse, but at the last minute the pair of black boots that my got for my birthday last month caught my eye. I gulped they did have a heel which I don't usually care for, but they would look nice with my outfit. I sighed grabbing them and then heading downstairs.

"Bye mom, bye Caleb" I hollered unlocking the door. "Bye honey see you in a bit" my mom yelled back. I made a face at her comment it was kinda odd, but I just shook it off and stepped outside in the cool winter air.

* * *

Once I arrived at the children's hospital I was a Popsicle and my feet hurt, so I guess it wasn't a good idea to wear a skirt and heels when walking in the middle of winter. I sighed as I stepped inside feeling the cold melt away from my body, and disappear into the winter air. I glanced around the lobby once I was warm, and was utterly amazed the wall and balcony on the one side of the room were lit up by a soft rainbow like light, and the other half of the room had ceiling to floor windows. A funky illuminated plant hung from the ceiling, and red chairs and cream colored couches were scattered across the room.

The rest of the gang was relaxing underneath the balcony that stretched twenty feet next to the crystal piano which was also illuminated by florescent lights. She attempted to strut over to the group; trying her best to look confident and poised in her heels, but she failed epically tripping over her own feet. She didn't fall she just stutter stepped kinda.

The guys were trying there best not to laugh, but couldn't contain it, the sight of Ash in heels was just hilarious, but they all stopped when they saw her aggravated face. Meena rushed over to her side to help, and Ash caught a glimpse of her shoes; they too were heels.

"don't worry about it at least you didn't fall flat on your face like I did" Meena joked blushing just a little. Ash smiled it was nice to know she had friends like Meena to comfort her when she needed it.

just then Johnny came over and sat next to Ash, so Meena left thinking they needed some alone time.

"Hey I'm sorry I laughed at you, I didn't mean it in a rude way. It was actually kinda cute" he said scratching the back of his neck nervously. Ash smiled up at him thinking to herself that the way he got nervous was cute "it's ok really" she said trying to make him feel better.

He stared at her with a strange look in his eyes, it was almost like care but it wasn't at the same time. It was something she hadn't seen in someone's eyes in a really long time, and that terrified her. She was trying to put her finger on we're she,has seen that look before, when it hit her. Lance used to look at her like that, but there was slight difference. Lances was fake while Johnny's was pure and true.

"Ash you look absolutely stunning today" Johnny said looking away slightly from embarrassment. She felt like she was going to start hyperventilating, but she didn't know why. "Oh thanks you look dashing too" she croaked out hoping he didn't notice. She didn't think he did because he still smiled at her happily with that look in his eyes.

She held up her finger to excuse herself since she couldn't talk right at the moment. She speed walked to the nearest restroom while trying to figure out what was wrong with her. Just yesterday her and Johnny were talking like that, and having fun like friends do, but today he does the same thing and she has a panic attack. What was wrong with her?

Then it struck her like lightning on a stormy night. Her mother and hers argument last night was about her getting back together with Lance it must have rekindledally some fear deep inside her.

She sighed sadly why couldn't she just be strong and get over him. Well the reason was because she wasn't strong because of him. When they were together he belittled her into thinking she was nothing. He played mind games on her; he took away her courage and strength by telling her she wouldn't survive without him, and that she needed him, and she listened and played along for the longest time while he slowly stripped away every bit of confidence that she had, and she didn't even notice or she was to scared to notice.

Everything he did to her was apart of his plan making her sing back up by telling her her voice wasn't as good as his. He even got her to stop hanging with some of her high school friends because he thought the girls were sluts and the guys were hitting on her, and when she stopped seeing them she entered the darkest stage of her life where she felt isolated and lonely. He even manipulated all of the money she made. He took it from her whenever she was paid because he said she wasn't responsible enough.

Everytime she did something wrong he threatened that he would leave, and that was what broke her the most to think that someone who loved her would leave her. He intimidated her into being quiet by using looks or gestures, and she obeyed because she loved him. Finally everything was always her fault, he told her that he was always mad because of her. Lance blamed everything on her, everything he did she caused it.

For a year and a half she dealt with him and the pain he caused her, and now that he was gone he was still coming back to cause her more pain. For that year and a half her life was like a game of chess, she was pawn and he was the king, and she was quite tired of being played with.

By the time she had finished her flashback of thoughts she was on the bathroom floor balling her eyes out. She never liked to admit it, but she was in an abusive relationship with Lance, no it wasn't physical, but it was emotional, and it had caused her so many problems that she was just about fed up with it.

Ash heard the door to bathroom squeak open, but Ash didn't move a muscle she stayed on the floor balling not even caring who it was that saw her like this, vulnerable because that's what she was at times like this vulnerable.

"Oh honey what's wrong" she heard Rosita ask her voice dripping with worry. Ash looked up to see that Rosita's eyes were full of a motherly worry and love, and for some reason she explained it all to Rosita, she explained how life was like for that year and a half. Going into complete detail about the pain Lance caused her, not even worrying about her judging her.

Although she didn't know why she told her everything, Ash thought it had something with the way Rosita looked at her like she was her own daughter fully caring about her and wanting to hear what was wrong with her, and maybe it was the fact that her mother had never looked at her like that, and she never let Ash explain anything she just always judged immediately.

But something about this moment with Rosita made Ash feel confident in herself again. She couldn't quiet explain it, but maybe it was the way Rosita held her, or maybe it was how she comforted her, or maybe it was just how she listened and didn't judge.

* * *

"Oh you poor thing I'm so sorry that this had to happen to such amazing girl like you" Rosita cooed holding Ash close to her, and stroking her quills. "Oh don't be sorry it wasn't your fault" Ash choked out cuddling deeper into Rositas side. "How can someone say that they love you and then abuse you" Rosita questioned? Ash wish could have answered, but sadly she wondered the same thing for the longest time, and she has never came up with a solution.

I winced at the word, I didn't want to admit that Lance abused me, so I put on a mask hiding my past from everyone. For awhile it actually worked, but once he started coming back around my anxiety came back.

"You know you're the first person that I've ever told about this" Ash laughed nervously wiping away a tear. Rosita just hugged her closer to her wondering what kind of relationship Ash and her mother had for her not to tell her.

"My mother and I don't really get along" Ash added seeing Rositas confused face. Rosita nodded her head letting Ash know to continue. "You see I tried telling her once we broke up, but she didn't want to hear it. She thinks Lance is some god, and still blames me for the breakup" Ash sniffed.

Rosita was shocked to hear this, she being a mother to, she didn't quite understand how a mother could do that to there child. Her whole life was for her children, and whenever they wanted to talk she was there and she listened.

"Well whenever you need a mom I'm always here for you" she said giving Ash a slight squeeze. I looked up at her shocked to what she just said, and I started crying again, but not in pain or fear, this time they were tears of joy. "Thanks Rosita you don't know how much I needed to hear that" I cried hugging her.

"Honey it is completely ok, but now we need to get back for the performance, so let's clean your pretty face up" Rosita said happily standing up and helping Ash up to. They wiped away all of Ash tears and stains on her face, and by the time they were done she looked completely normal.

"Thanks Rosita" I said hugging her one last time before we walked out the door. "Oh honey you're welcome don't forget I am a mother." Ash smiled at her feeling safe.

"Ash just remember you are a strong girl don't let him get the best of you. I know who you are I've seen you blossom these past couple months, so don't let him come back and ruin it" she said rubbing Ashs back. I nodded my head happy to hear that someone believed in me.

"And one last thing, that guy over there" she said pointing over to Johnny " is not Lance, nor will he ever be Lance. He loves you and will do anything to protect you" Rosita said trying to convince Ash that it was ok to like him.

Ash nodded her head smiling over at Johnny. She knew he wasn't Lance but she needed some time to heel first before starting something new.


	4. Chapter 4

Johnny's POV

Johnny stared at his hands with aggravation not really sure why. Well actually he kind of knew why, but he just didnt want to admit to it. He sighed staring off into the distance were Ash had disappeared to. He hoped that he had not caused her anxiety attack, but deep down he knew he did.

He hated causing her pain, especially since she had recieved so much of it from Lance. He glanced over to see Rosita and Ash walking towards the group. Rosita was slightly ointing in Johnnys direction; which he thought was strange, but that didn't matter to him because at her gesture Ash smiled and looked truly happy which was all that mattered to him.

Ash started walking towards him while examining her shoes. Her steps were small like she was timid, but he didn't care. All he waned to do was talk to her, and apologize. "Johnny" She spoke softly finally looking up. Her blues eyes had slight red viens running through them, but you had to look carefully to see them.

"Ash I'm so sorry if I did something wrong earllier, I really didn't mean to" he said apologeticlly. She Smiled at him her facial features soft with understanding. "Oh Johnny none of that was your fualt got it" She said sternly but softly. He breathed in slowly "Do you want to talk about it" Johnny said looking at blue eyes.

"I was just letting someone from my past bother me" she sighed looking down. Johnny knew exactly who she was talking about, and immediatly anger was fogging his brain, and all he wanted to do was go find Lance and pound him into the nearest wall.

His mind slipped back into reality at Ash touching his arm as a way to calm him, and it did work. "Ash listen to me if he ever bothers you you are to come and tell me immediately, ok" he said his voice full of love and care for his best friend. "Thank you Johnny, but this is something that I'm going to have to take care of myself" she paused quickly looking over at Rosita "and thanks to someone I know how I'm going to do it" she announced proudly.

He smiled at her confidence in herself, and hoped that she won't end up getting herself hurt with this new found confidence. "Well that's great Ash, I'm really proud of you" Johnny said sincerely grinning like a goof at her lit up face and how ecstatic she was. "Thanks Johnny" she said still smiling.

He got up from his seat reaching out to offer Ash his hand "we should probably go join the rest of the group before they send out a search perty to find us" He said laughing. Ash joined him and took his hand, and they went to join the rest of th group.

Once they reached the rest of the group they tried there best to sneak into the small circle, but Mike blew there cover by clearing his throat very loudly. "So where have you to been" He asked his eyes floating between the two of them witha smirk lingering on his lips.

"So when are we going start this thing" Ash asked completly ignoring Mike's question, and directig her attention towards Buster. He smiled at everyone before turning around to grab his agenda. "Well we actually have ten minutes, so lets go over the performance order" he said examining his schedule.

"First up will be Meena, and next will be Gunter and Rosita, following them will be Mike, and last but certainly not least will be Ash and Johnny" he said looking up at us as if to ask if anyone had any questions. Everyone nodded there heads simultaneously as if to understand.

"Great then let's go set up" Moon said ushering us towards the stage, and we followed anxiously not wanting to mess anything up.

* * *

Ash's POV

I peeked out from behind the curtain, that illuminated by florescent lights like everything else in the room, to see the crowd that was beginning to form, and man was there a lot of people. I stared a little longer letting my eyes drift from person to person in curiosity, but I stopped on a mother and son that walked in together. I looked a little closer examining every detail on them until I realized it was my brother and mother.

I gasped stepping behind the curtian bumping into someone as I did. I turned to see Rosita sprawled out on the ground. I couldn't help but laugh at the sight it was just to funny. "Haha it's so funny I know, now help me up I'm old" she in full seriousness. I giggled grabbing her hands and pulling her up.

"Now tell me what did you see that shocked you so much" she said dusting herself off. I sighed might as well tell her "my mom and brother are here" I gulped. "Well honey that's great right" Rosita asked confused?

"There's something I've been hiding from you guys" I continue looking down at my sweaty palms. "My brother Caleb has severe autism" I say looking completely calm on the outside, but on the inside I'm an emotional wreck.

"Oh honey I'm so sorry I didn't know" she said gripping my shoulders. "Really it's not that bad, yes has his moments, but he is the sweetest little boy" I continue looking at the curtian as if I could see him through it. She was about to say something else, but Buster rushed up to us "come on guys Meena's about to go out on stage." We nodded our heads and followed him to the wings.

"I would like to thank everyone for coming out today, and for supporting such a wonderful cause. Now my names Buster Moon, and without further a do I would like to introduce Meena singing Halleluijah" he announced patting Meena on the back as he walked off the stage.

Meena grabbed the mic inhaled deeply, and began to pour her soul out into the words.

She finished the song with head tilted back dramatically, and the crowd erupted into applause at the young girls natural God given talent to sing. She blushed at the reaction, but didn't forget to curtsy before leaving the stage.

"Wow wasn't she just great, now let's make some noise for our next act Rosita and Gunter singing Rockin around the Christmas tree" he said leaving the stage.

Rosita strut onto the stage a long candy cane in her hand. She posed next to the tree waiting for the music.

She sang will strutting around her cane in a complete circle. Once back to the beggining she spun around herself, and threw her arms up as Gunter entered the stage.

He shimmied across the stage meeting up with Rosita in the Center. He spun her around three times and then dipped her dramatically.

She threw in a fan kick then did chaine turns stage left.

They did sugar feet around the tree then slid away from it making an L with there arms. Rosita did a low chaine into toro so Gunter could catch her mid air and hold her on his shoulder.

Gunter set Rosita back on the ground so they could bow to crowd, and then leave the stage. Moon came out astonishment written on his face "wasn't that spicy guys because I thought it sure was wow" he said out of breath.

"Now we have a tiny performer with a big performance up next is Mike singing the classic Winter Wonderland." Mike walked out from the wings to give his signature smirk to the crowd, and they ate it up.

He finished holding the last note a little longer giving it a velvety sound. When h finished he didn't bow he just winked and strut his stuff off the stage. "Great job Mike, didn't he do a great job guys" Budter asked the last part to the responded with whoops, cheers, and a few tears.

"Now our last act for you guys today will be a beuatiful duet sung by Ash and Johnny, and they'll be singing have yourself a merry little Christmas" he said excitement blurring his vision as Ash and Johnny set at the piano together.

Ash clutched onto Johnnys hands with a death grip worried that she was going to screw something up. He responded by giving her hands a light squeeze to calm her nerves.

She loosened her grip on his hands as the the music started not just trusting herself, but Johnny to realizing that she wasn't going to screw anything up as long as he was there.

He loved the way she let the music transport her somewhere like it had magic, and every time she started singing her voice would send her off into a far away land. They smiled at each other for split second, eyes gleaming with care and affection before getting back into the song.

He kissed her cheek in joy that they did so and he didn't even realize that he did it until he saw her face full oh shovk. Well he'd done it this time now she was going to-. She kissed his cheek back pulling him out of his thoughts. He stared at her in disbelief a blush lingering on his cheeks.

They stood for the roaring crowd and bowed, then grabbed hands smiling like goofs as they walked off stage.

"Weren't they just magnificent, there voices were just made for each other in my opinion" Buster said smiling over at a blushing Ash and Johnny. The crowd agreed with there whistles and chants of joy.

"Now before we leave we'd like to invite all of the kids out in the audience today to come up here, and sing a song with us" a Buster said smiling as the singers joined him on stage. Ash gulped looking over at Rosita who mouthed breath. Ash nodded looking at her little brother coming towards the stage.

He squealed with delight at the sight of his sister, and towards her hugging her legs. The group on stage looked her confused, but she just shrugged her shoulders. She picked him up in her arms bridal style, and gave him a nose kiss which giggled at. Johnny came up to her and knelt down so he could wrap his arm around her shoulder. She breathed in and exhaled sharply as a way to calm herself down when touched her.

She'd been doing it since her meltdown earlier. Every time he touched her she had to remind herself that she was safe with him, and wasn't going to hurt her or use her in any way. It was hard at first, but the later the day went on the easier it got, no she wasn't quite ready to figure out her feelings for him, but she was getting close.

"And who's this cutie" Johnny asked tickling Calebs stomach lightly which caused him to laugh. "This is Caleb" Ash said smiling at her two boys. Johnny smiled too at how good Ash was with kids; it was really cute.

"Ok everyone on the count of three, one, two, three" buster said making conducting motions with his arms.

* * *

 **"** Guys Gather around I have an announcement to make" I said looking down at Caleb who clinging onto my skirt. "Ah what's this little guy doing back here?" Buster asked looking up at me. "Well he's actually my announcement" I paused looking down at him once more. His blue seemed to tell me to go on and just say it. "This is my brother Caleb and he has severe autism" I said proudly picking him up and sitting him on my hip, so everyone could see him.

They all gasped with shock, but eventually wanted take turns holding him since he was so cute. At first he was scared and he screamed a few times, but by the time he got to Johnny he seemed to have calmed down, and was back to his normal squealing and giggling.

"You're just about the sweetest little boy I've ever met" Johnny said holding Caleb close to him. Caleb laughed with joy and tugged on his jacket trying to figure out what it was. I smiled at the two and snapped a quick picture with my phone. "Well I should probably take you back to mom buddy, ok" I said taking him from Johnny, and walking over to my mom.

"Here you go" I say handing her Caleb. "Thank you sweetie, and by the way you were beuatiful up there" she said smiling. I nodded my head a little confused on why she was being so nice.

"Ash just wondering why didn't ever tell us about your brother" Johnny asked curiously. "Well he was just diagnosed with autism right before the auditions for the show, so it just wasn't a good time, and after that I just never thought of it really" I said smiling sheepishly. They nodded understanding the situation which I was thankful for.

Next thing I knew I heard I high pitched scream, and immediately knew it was Caleb. I looked around frantically to find him, so I could help, but I couldn't see him anywhere. Then he suddenly ran by me with fear in his eyes. I was going to stop him , but he ran right into Johnny and hugged his legs.

"Jo-johnn-y he-help" Caleb squeaked out. I was so shocked that he actually spoke that I started crying. I ran over to them, and threw my arms around both of them. "Those were his first words" I spoke softly, and Johnny nodded, but he was looking off in the distance

I turned to see what he was looking at, and my vision was fogged by hate because yes those were Calebs first words, but he said them because he was afraid, and wanted Johnny to protect him from Lance.


	5. Chapter 5

Ash's POV

I gasped out in fear at the sight of him. Now he was calmly talking to my mother who seemed more than thrilled to have him here. He glanced over at me a few times smiling with a charming glint in his eyes, but I saw through it because I knew deep down there was an evil guy inside of him.

Johnny slightly stepped in front of me and Caleb with him still latched onto his leg. My mom looked over at me giving me a face that said 'really what's wrong with you he's right here'. I scoffed at her, and she returned the gesture. Lance smiled at her before walking over towards us. He shoved right past Johnny almost stepping on Calebs foot, and as he did his eyes never left me. Like I was some prize he was about to win; which made me sick.

I attempted to stand taller, and stick my nose up in the air, but it didn't make much of a difference. "Ash, babe I've missed you so much" he said while hugging me out of no where. I tensed at the sudden contact, and fear suddenly rushed through me as old memories flooded back into my brain. I pulled away as quickly as I could while backing away from him.

I caught sight of my mother out of the corner of my eye, and all I saw was disappointment. It hurt me to know that my mother was so hurt by me not loving the guy that hurt me. It's not her fault though she doesn't know the truth, but then again if she would've listened to me she would know, so I don't feel sorry for her.

"Ash I'm sorry I love you" Lance said sweetly, and it made me want to gag. I inhaled deeply attempting to pull myself together for my brother, my friends, and most importantly me. I exhaled looking him starlight in his eyes which seemed to burn holes through my body.

"How can you say you love me when you hurt me" I snarled stepping closer to him to show I wasn't afraid. He groaned holding his head with his hand "babe Becky is a thing of the past, but I want you now" he said reaching for my hand, but I swatted it away.

"I'm not talking about Becky, I'm talking about all the times you hurt me before her" I snapped my anger boiling over. At the mention of the past his eyes darkened and his forehead creased in anger.

"What do you mean before her" he said in low, yet dark voice. His eyes warned me not to say anything else or else. He kept walking forward while I kept backing up until I was against the wall. I looked around for help, but my mom was gone, Johnny had Caleb in his arms, and Rosita was holding everyone else back with her arms. She mouthed be strong to me, and I knew to conquer my fear of him I had to start by standing up to him. "Ash I just want you back, can't you forget the past" he said now back to his calm act.

"You hurt me Lance, how could I ever take you back" I said qiuetly while turning slightly away from him. Tears were about to roll down my cheeks as the memories flooded my brain, but I refused to show him that he had made me weak; even though he did. "I never laid a finger on you" he stated less clamly. His eyes were glossed over with hatred, and his hands were balled into fists. I gulped nervously glancing down at his fists and then back up to his face. I attempted to to breathe steadlily, but my breaths just sped up, and I know I looked vulnerable.

"No you're right, you never physically hurt me, but you did emotionally hurt me" I said once again looking away from him. "that's a load of bull crap, who cares about emotionally hurting someone. I was just making you strong" he yelled out losing his temper. My head snapped around to look at him once more with a shocked expression at his outburst. I sighed examining my shoes for help.

"Lance I wouldn't expect you to care about how I felt; especially since you've never cared about me or my emotions, but I would like to ask you to listen" I said staring dead in the eye. He nodded carelessly while scoffing at my statement. "You made me think that everything you did to me was my fault, and you don't even care that your actions made my life so confusing and painful. You controlled everything about my life from my money to my friends, and didn't even think twice about it. You played me like a puppet, so whenever you wanted me to do something you just pulled the string and I obliged because I thought you loved me" I growled out not even realizing how loud I got until I looked past Lance to see Johnny, and how he had a pained expression in his eyes which soon turned to hate.

"You know it was your fault" I heard him say evilly. I turned my attention back at him to see a smirk on his face. "If you would've just left none of that would've happened" he chuckled looking me up and down. I gulped was he right was it my fault; wait no don't listen to him he's playing his mind games again. I looked around franticly for a way out of his trap, but there didn't seem to be one, and I needed to get away before he planted more bad ideas in my head.

"You can't run from a problem you started, babe" he continued while holding his arm up to block me. There was only one way to get out, but it was extremely risky. I Glanced up at him one last time before I hurled my knee into his private part. The world seemed to slow down as I sprinted towards a shocked Johnny and a terrified Caleb who was hiding in the crook of Johnny's neck. I turned around to see Lance laying on the ground clutching where I kicked him in pain.

"Ash are you alright?"He asked his voice full of worry. "Yeah, yeah I'm just dandy" as the sarcasm dripped from my voice like hot ooze. He smiled at me while turning Caleb nudging Caleb slightly, so he would remove his head from his shoulder so he could see me. Slowly his head moved away from Johnny's shoulder. His face was hesitant, but once he saw me it lit ip with joy. He reached out with his arms, and Johnny handed him over to me.

I cradled him in my arms and snuggled his face; which caused him to squeal in delight. "I'm so glad you're ok" I whispered nuzzling his face. "I'm just glad you're both ok" Johnny whispered pulling us close. I smiled at how much Caleb liked Johnny even though he just met him. That was the thing about Caleb; he was a very good judge of character, so if he didn't like you right away he probably never would.

Caleb looked past me straight into Lances flaming hazel eyes. He attempted to get out of my arms, by pulling the opposite direction of Lance, but I just held tighter because I knew if he got down it would be world war three.

He started flapping his arms and kicking his legs while his breathing sped up, but I still held him close to me. His blue eyes were filled with terror as fresh tears spilled from them. Screams could be heard from around the entire hospital as Lance approached us. I stepped farther away from the crowd, but it didn't help; he could still see Lance, and for some reason that scared him.

"Shh I'm not going to let him hurt you" I whispered pleadingly attempting to get him to calm down. His small hands were now smacking my shoulder lightly so I would put him down; I didn't budge.

Nor did he though, and it made me think of what Lance did to him to make Caleb hate him so much. Then an idea struck me, and I knew that it just had to work.

"Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." I stated wisely in my scruffy Yoda voice. He freezed mid motion and turned to look at me. He had a look in his eyes that said 'should I trust you.'

"I am a j-jed-i" Caleb squeaked and I looked at him in astonishment wondering how he new these words. Then again he never forgot anything; he's probably been storing these words for awhile just waiting until he's ready to use them.

"Like my father before me" I finished for him. He grabbed my face in his frail hands while smiling his toothy grin. Plus it helps that Star Wars was his favorite movie series of all time. "Now tell me padawan what did he do to you?" I asked Caleb, but it was actually directed to Lance who was a couple of feet away.

"I didn't even do anything to the little retard" Lance scoffed annoyed. I felt more than annoyed though, I felt anger; I mean no one calls my brother a retard and gets away with it. "Lance I'm giving you one chance take that back" I snarled.

His amused look on his face told me everything, he wasn't going to take it back. "If anything you should be asking him what he did to me, I mean he spit on my shoe" he whined like a child his smirk lingering slightly.

"You're right he shouldn't have done that, but Lance he has autism if he spits on your shoe it doesn't give you permission to act out, I mean act like an adult" I stated with hatred oozing out of my voice. "Oh Ash, sweet innocent Ash. No wonder you were so easy to play with" he chuckled stepping forward. "He may be disabled, but he's a monster and he's going to hurt someone someday, and you won't be able to use your little act. He belongs somewhere like home, so you and everyone else will be safe."

I gaped with wide shocked eyes at his statement, and honestly it hurt me so I can't even imagine how it made Caleb feel because yes he understands what people are saying. "Lance if you're trying to get back together with me by insulting my brother its not the way to go" I said not knowing what else to say.

"Oh but babe I'm just trying to protect you" he cooed sweetly while looking me up and down for the hundredth time that day. The way he looked at me though was what made my stomach churn. It was like he owned me and could do whatever he wanted with me which made me sick.

"Lance I think it's about time you leave" I heard a strong voice say, and it made my knees weak, and caused the churning to go away honestly. "What like I'm going to listen to a criminal" Lance chuckled. Which just fueled my rage, but I was stopped before I could do something. "What makes you think you can just waltz on in here and insult all of us" I heard Rosita yell quietly. I smiled at them for standing up for Caleb and I.

"listen kid this is my show and due to your inappropriate behavior your banned" I hear Buster chuckle. Lance stared taken back and was speechless. "That means leave Lance" I say proudly. He whispers a whatever and turns on his heel and leaves.

"Thanks guys you don't know how much that meant to us" I say while turning to see my entire theater family. They smile at me while saying a few it was nothing's. "You know guys it's four days before Christmas so let's have a Christmas party tomorrow" Eddie says full of excitement. We all nod in agreement especially since it will get our minds off of today, and we head over to the stage to clean up.

"Ash I hope you know that I really do like you, and your brother doesn't change that" Johnny said taking Caleb, now asleep, away from me so I can pick up my stuff. "Well I want you to know that I really like you to, and so does Caleb, and if you hurt him it will literally scar him for life because he never forgets anything" I say smiling at the two of them. I snap another picture, and turn my attention back to my stuff.

"I will never hurt either of you I promise" he says pulling me into a hug. I sigh knowing he's telling the truth, and at the fact that Caleb is safe with Johnny unlike Lance. I pulled away from the hug as my phone buzzed. I checked it and sure enough it was a text from my mom.

 **Mom: hi honey I'm sorry I left you with Caleb, but I got a text from David saying that he needed to see me, well I hope you and Lance made up ttyl.**

I sighed putting my phone away, so she ditched us so she could be with her boyfriend of the week, and she didn't see or care that Lance acted up like that. I groaned while picking up Caleb's coat. I turned around to see a worried Johnny.

"Hey don't worry about it I'm fine, see" I said fake smiling. "Your mom left you didn't she" he chuckled. I nodded my head stiffly while handing him the coat. "Well let me give you guys a ride home because it's to cold to walk." I nodded in agreement and we walked out the hospital with Caleb still asleep in Johnny's arms.


	6. Chapter 6

**I don't own the song like I'm gonna lose you, that's is mentioned in the story, it belongs to Megan Trainor**

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Johnny's POV

I stared at myself in the mirror trying decide wether or not to wear my leather jacket, I mean its a party so I want to look nice, but at the same time it's supposed to be casual. Finally I decide to wear it, and I grab my bag that has everyones gifts in it and jog down te stairs.

"Bye dad..." I say trailing off mid sentence once I realized that nobody is here. I sigh at the empty garage before forcing myself out into the brisk winter air. My mind drifts away and I find myself aimlessly walking towards the theater. I glanced down at the bag gripped in my hand, and prayed to myself that everybody liked what I got them.

As he got closer to the theater it seemed to get chillier and windier, and the sidewalks seemed to be getting slipperier. There was a slight forest glazed over the ground like icing on a donut, and all together it looked like a winter wonderland. The sight was quite breathtaking until Johnny slipped and fell on his face.

My gift bag skidded across the sidewalk causing one of the gifts to fall out. I groaned picking myself up and then went to retrieve the bag and gift. I stared at the red velvet ring box for awhile once I picked it up. I sighed hoping that Asliked what I got her because if she didn't then it would be humiliating.

I shoved the box back in bag now stressed that she wouldn't like it, or think it was weird. I mean I'm just her friend should I be giving her a gift that is this emotional; of course I don't like just as a friend, but she'll never think of me as something more. She either doesn't like me, or I'd scared to like me because of what Lance did. Which either one seems terrible to me, but for her trusting anyone ever again must be hard.

I let out a deep groan as I kicked up some of the snow that laid loose on the sidewalk because the thought of Lance hurting Ash in anyway made my blood boil. Honestly I don't know why I care so much, but for some reason all I want to do is protect and make sure she's happy; even if it means that she won't love me.

Shaking my head I try to rid my head of all of these bad thoughts, but sadly it doesn't work. I moan inwardly at myself. I mean I'm supposed to be tough how can I let something like a girl bother me so much, but then again Ash isn't just a girl; she's changed my life in so many ways that I can't even count all of them. She's strong, beautiful, and there is no one else like her. She puts everyone else before herself; especially Caleb. How could he not fall for such an amazing girl.

A childish giggle knocked him out of his thoughts, and he looked up to see he had arrived at the theater and out in the front was Ash and Caleb playing in the snow. A smile crept onto my lips as Caleb caught sight of me and ran my direction while knocking me over into the snow. For a second Ash had a look of fear on her face at Caleb running off, but once she turned around and saw he was with me her face softened. She pulled out her phone and snapped a few pictures before I pulled her down with us. She shrieked as she fell into the soft snow next to Johnny. There eyes connected momentarily and everything seemed to slow, and if you would've asked Ash she felt like she was leaning into him even though she wasn't. Suddenly Caleb jumped in between the two completely ruining the moment; although he didn't seem care as he threw snow in there faces.

Johnny chuckled while picking Caleb up and swinging him around his shoulders. He reached out what towards ash to help her up, and she gladly took it. They walked into the theater together still holding hands not even noticing it until they noticed the confused but excited looks on everyone's faces. Johnny and Ash looked to each other with puzzled looks on there faces before noticing there intertwined hands. They let go quickly both taking a step away from each other smiling nervously.

"Well now that everyone's finally here can we get started" Mike said teasingly glancing over at Ash and Johnny. His girlfriend, Charolette was hanging onto his arm admiring everything about him; which caused everyone to smile because Mike was his best when with her.

"Oh yes, of course" Buster said coming back to reality. "What do you guys think we should do first eat, open gifts, or dance" Buster said excitedly while ticking each item off on his fingers. Everyone considered the options before deciding that they should eat first.

They all walked to the front of the theater where the food was set up, and began to dig in. Johnny noticed Ash inspecting each item of food very carefully before setting it on one of her two plates. He thought this behavior was were especially for Ash. "Hey is something bothering you. Your acting kind of strange" he asked setting his hand gently on her shoulder. She looked up smiling sheepishly "yeah I'm fine it's just that Caleb is gluten free so..." She trailed off hoping Johnny go the point. Which he did if Caleb had to much gluten it would make him hyper and hard to handle.

"Speaking of Caleb where is he" Johnny chuckled. "Oh he's over with Rosita and Gunter doing who knows what" she laughed rolling her eyes playfully. Johnny looked around letting his eyes land on the three who were on the stage playing something. It looked to be some action game where Caleb and Rosita were the good guys and Gunter was the bad guy. Rosita lifted him up her shoulder to make him feel like he was flying which caused him to shriek in joy.

"Well it looks like they're having fun, now how about you let loose a little"Johnny joked and Ash playfully shoved him. "For your information I am having fun" she said briskly walking over to the tables. "Oh yeah then prove it" Johnny teased grabbing her now free hands in his own. She smirked at him letting her eyes roll carelessly as he started to sing Like I'm gonna lose you by Megan Trainor.

He closed his eyes as his voice rang out letting himself connect with the music; towards the end of the verse he opened his eyes to see Ashs illuminating blue ones. He gave her hand a squeeze as if to tell her to go on and don't be nervous.

Johnny twirled Ash around causing her to giggle slightly as she sang. They both smilied at each other so engrossed in the music they didn't notice how close they were, or how Buster was recording them.

They both wanted to love each other, but both were a little scared for different reasons involving hurt. They understood that it would has to be pure true love and not just infatuation like so many relationships have. Infatuation wasn't love it was an unhealthy obsession that lasted maybe a month. While love needed no words and lasted a lifetime even after death, and that's what they wanted.

They ended the song linking arms both of them observing there shoes blushing a deep Crimson. They didn't notice that everyone was watching them, or that Buster had posted the video to the theaters website.

"You know one day you two will realize that you're meant for each other, and I just hope it's soon" Mike spoke up sternly but when the teens snapped there heads down to him he was smiling. They both blushed even more stepping away from each other.

"Oh Mike leave them alone there young they don't know how they feel" Charolette spoke up nuzzling Mikes nose. Ash smiled at the two mice, if only love was as simple for her as it was for them, but sadly it wasn't instead it was an uphill battle that she was still trying to climb, but she was almost there thanks to Johnny.

"Come on you guys can we please eat now I'm like totally starving" Gunter said in all seriousness strutting towards the table. We all laughed at his impatience and then followed close behind.

Johnny placed Caleb in his booster and helped Ash set him up to eat. He giggled at Johnny touching him which honestly filled his heart with warmth to know that little kid liked him that much. Once he was done he attempted to walk to the other side of the table to sit next to Ash, but Caleb stopped him by grabbing his sleeve. Johnny looked back to see Caleb with the sweetest puppy dog eyes. "St-ay pease" Caleb hiccuped still not releasing johnnys jacket. He sighed reluctantly with grin grazing his lips while sitting back down next to Caleb.

He had a look of satisfaction written all over his face as I sat down, but even after I sat he wouldn't let go of my sleeve. Little did I know that Ah had been watching the entire time with a look of admiration in her eyes. I caught a glimpse of her camera flash which sent Caleb into a fit of giggles.

"So what do you guys think our next show should be about" Buster asked with a mouth stuffed full of food. We all laughed uncontrollably at his over stuffed mouth, but he didn't get why we were laughing.

"Well I honestly feel like we need to do something different" Rosita added. "Darlings I got it" Gunter paused dramatically and we all made a drum roll for a fun effect. "Cirque de soleil" he jumped up and threw his arms up happily.

We all simultaneously agreed liking the idea of a new challenge. "I love cirque" Ash exclaimed happily. Caleb whooped to not even knowing what everyone was so excited about since he was stuffing his face with food. Johnny felt something tug on his sleeve so he looked down to see Caleb had gotten out his booster and was now next to johnnys chair.

"Up" Caleb said reaching up towards Johnny with his small arms. He just smiled while picking him in his arms and setting him in his lap. Caleb snuggled closer to Johnny getting inside his jacket and using it as a blanket. Lash couldn't but feel tears eyed at the sight I front of her. Caleb's never had a male figure in his life, so the fact that he had Johnny at this moment was heart warming.

"It amazes me at how much he trusts" ash said. She smiled at the two happy to see that Caleb did trust him. "Well Johnny does have knack with kids" Rosita chirped from down the table which caused Johnny to blush. Ash was about to say something but Gunter interrupted her.

"So I like had some totally crazy ideas for costumes" he exclaimed. We all hesitantly looked at each other with worried expressions. I mean we all know what gunter's style is like. "I think there needs to be lots of skin, sequins, feathers, and crazy looking accessories." Mike sighed exasperated letting his head fall with a soft thud on the table. Everyone laughed quietly under there breath except an confused Gunter.

"I think we'll save that for a later date, but for now let's enjoy our time together and let's go dance" Buster said. Him and Eddie stood up quickly racing each other up to the stage.

they cranked up the radio and attempted to dance, but epically failed. The rest of the gang laughed following close behind them.

Ash darted around Johnny grabbing his free hand and yanking him onto the stage with her. He chucked at her impatience and admired her dancing as if she wasn't afraid to let go. Soon he joined her and everyone was laughing and dancing on the small stage together.

 **A/N**

 **So I just want to explain really quickly what's been going on with my chapters that had songs in them. Now I'm sure you all have heard about the two users that have reported me and two other authors about using song lyrics.**

 **Now I'm not usually one to back down, but I think in this situation it's best that I do; because if they still try to report me even without the lyrics in my story then I've proved that they are just a bunch of jerks who want to ruin amazing stories by amazing people.**

 **I'm sure there people out there that will consider me rude for doing this, but I'm just defending my story and everyone else that has had there story and voice taken away in this situation. So report me, block me, and take me down off this site; I'll just come back. I will repost my story over and over again until this whole thing blows because I refuse to let my readers down.**

 **And once this blows over I will return the chapters that changed I back to normal with my disclaimers and everything. Now if I do get removed I will either repost it or move to a different site.**

 **I urge everyone to stand up against these people and not let them walk all over you because all of you are strong. They have removed two other stories that I absolutely loved and I admired them as writers. I have discussed the situation with them and all I've been able to come up with is to block these two users, or maybe even report but that might be taking it to far.**

 **Now it might be to late to keep my story up after this, but that's ok because if they keep this up then it just proves how horrible they are, and I'm willing to sacrifice my story forever gone else to know the truth.**

 **Thank you to everyone that has supported me on my first story ever, and please don't leave if I do because I will come stronger than ever before.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I don't own I can't stop the feeling that belongs to Justin Timberlake. Or Set it all Free ans I'm still Standing those both belong to Sing and Illumination. Finally I don't own This town that belongs to Niall Horan.**

* * *

Ash's POV

I smiled up at Johnny as he twirled me around while I let out a heavy breath. Who knew dancing could be so exhausting but fun at the same time. Well then again we've been going at it for about two hours, so that might explain the exhaustion. Holding up my finger I excused my self to go grab a drink. Once reaching the beverage table I turned my head to see Caleb dancing on Johnny's feet. His face was bright with excitement as Johnny through him in the air and caught him.

Chuckling to myself I gulped down my water and headed over to Charolette, Rosita, and Meena. Rosita and I locked eyes and she ushered me over trying to get me to hurry.

"So what did you guys get everyone for Christmas" Violet asked eagerly. We all looked at each other with skeptical looks. "Well I'm keeping my gifts a secret" Rosita said and we laughed at her secrecy. "Well I honestly can't wait to give Mike his gift" Charolette ogled.

"Oh trust me he can't wait to give you your gift either" Meena said slyly, and I had to cover my mouth and turn away to keep from blurting the secret. Rosita must have sensed that it was hard for us to keep it in, so she started pushing us towards the stage. "How about we go spend some time with the guys; I mean that's what Christmas is really about not presents" She chuckled nervously.

Meena and I shared a giddy giggle at Rosita's quick attempt to distract Charolette. Once we reached the stage "I can't stop the feeling" by Justin Timberlake came, so of course we just had to dance to it. I awkwardly danced my way over to Caleb and Johnny who seemed to be in there own little world. Caleb turned around to me and reached out his arms so I would pick him up.

I obliged and started dancing around the stage with him on my hip. He giggled as we spun around, but his attention drifted towards the tree with all the presents. He pouted pointing towards the tree as if to say 'can I open the presents.'

"Not yet buddy" I said pulling his arm down. He started pouting and squealing while crossing his arms. His blue eyes seemed to pierce holes through my head because he was glaring at me. "Hey is Ash being a mean sister" Johnny spoke up cooing lightly which caused me glare at. His smile grew a little at my reaction, but mine stayed the same. "Here let me take him for a bit" Johnny said. I cocked my head to the side in confusion "but you've had him for most of the morning."

Johnny chuckled slightly scratching the back of his head, "Well I don't really mind, I like hanging out with Caleb." At this Caleb turned to smirk at me playfully, and I reluctantly gave him up to Johnny. "But be careful and no presents..." I tried to warn, but the two were already gone doing who knows what.

* * *

Johnny's POV

Caleb and I were running around backstage playing tag until he abruptly stopped me. He made a motion with his hand to follow him to the stage wing, and I did. He peeked his head from behind the curtain, and pulled back in once Ash turned around. I laughed under my breath at his attempted stealth. He peeked out again pointing towards the tree while whispering a slight please.

I laughed again at his eagerness to open his presents; I mean what kid doesn't want open gifts, and I'm sure Ash won't mind. So we walked towards Buster to ask if we could start.

"Mr. Moon Caleb wants to know if we could possibly open the presents" I said. Buster looked at me skeptically for a second before speaking "isn't it a little early to open gifts?" He asked scratching his head. I opened my mouth but closed it when Caleb interrupted me.

"Pease" he asked with his big blue eyes? Buster seemed to melt at Caleb's pleading because he nodded his head and started ushering everyone over to the tree.

* * *

Ash's POV

Moon just motioned for us to come towards the tree, but we didn't quite know why because it was still a little early to open the presents.

"So everyone we've had a special request by a little guy if we could open the presents early" Moon smiled down at Caleb who was jumping up and down. I smacked my hand against my forehead while groaning loudly.

"Dear is everything OK?" Charlotte asked her voice full of concern. "It's just guys they never listen" I sighed. "You're right they never do, and it doesn't get any better" she said nudging Mike playfully. "Hey I find that to be quite offensive" he chuckled trying to get out of the situation. "Well I'm not going to lie to the poor girl" she said defensively. I decided to slip behind them so I could leave the situation unharmed.

I strut over to Johnny and Caleb a stern, but still soft look on my face. Once I got there I stepped in front of Johnny tapping my foot impatiently. "I thought I said he had to wait to get his presents" I said. He gulped nervously avoiding my eyes.

"I'm sorry Ash I didn't hear that part" he said. His eyes diverted from the ground up to mine. He looked completely sorry and responsible, and couldn't help but forgive him. "Well nothing we can do now since everyone's already here and excited" I sighed grabbing Johnny's hand to reassure him that it was OK. He chuckled lightly "Besides I don't know how much longer Mike can keep the secret in for" he added and I joined in on the laughing.

"Well I think Caleb should come up and open his gifts first" Eddie said smiling at Caleb. I returned the gesture and ushered him up towards the tree. The first one he picked was oddly shaped and from Rosita, and once he opened it and his face lit up at seeing the plush BB-8. He squished it against his face while nuzzling it fondly.

The next gift was a in a clothing box and from Gunter. He opened it but was less interested with the sequin track jacket than he was with the BB-8. He still smiled though before tossing it aside to get the next gift. Which was a Yoda coffee mug from Meena. Caleb's eyes lit up with a devilish glint because he loved coffee and Yoda just made it better.

Next he eagerly picked up the long skinny gift from Mike and Charolette. He pulled out to blue glowing light sabers, and the color and glow seemed to match his eyes as he started twirling around with them. I turned to Mike and glared playfully. "thanks Mike for giving him another thing to hit me with." He smirked devilishly and shrugged his shoulders "hey that's why i Got them."

I turned around to see Caleb handling Johnny's gift with care which was a necklace with a bunch of different star wars dog tags. He smiled at Johnny while putting it around his neck, and grabbing last and biggest gift; which was from Buster and Eddie. He opened it to reveal an acoustic guitar, and frankly I was surprised he didn't toss it at there heads.

"I thought he seemed like a musician in the making" Buster spoke up while placing his hand on my shoulder. I watched nearly in tears while he tried to strum away at the guitar. I whispered a quiet thank you embracing him and Eddie tightly. I gathered all his gifts up and placed them next to our coats.

"Buster, Eddie I think it's time to give you our gifts to you" I said looking around at everyone else who agreed. I pulled a small box out of my coat and handed it to Buster, and Johnny handed Eddies to him.

"Its not much but we thought you would like it" I smiled sheepishly. towards Buster. He nodded and opened it to reveal a USB in a bracelet form. "It has all the pictures of us on our journey to our first performance" Johnny spoke up quickly before Buster could say if he liked it or not.

"Guys I love it, you don't even know how much this means to me" He said. We all let out sigh of relief that he liked it. "Well buster I actually want to give you my gift" Eddie said. Buster looked confused for a second before speaking up "But I didn't get you anything."

"That's OK this was free" Eddie laughed while handing him a silver bucket. Buster looked at him even more confused now. "Well you know how we used that second bucket that day we did the car wash" Eddie laughed nervously. Buster nodded as his mouth fell open as if it just dawned on him what the bucket meant. They embraced in a hug as everyone awkwardly stared not knowing what was going on with the bucket.

* * *

No POV

Meena ended up with beats from johnny, beats speaker from Buster and Eddie, a charging dock from Mike and Charolette, bejeweled microphone necklace from Ash, and a sparkly jacket from Gunter.

Rosita opened her Worlds best Mom mug from Johnny, a photo album from Meena and Ash, a bedazzled microphone from Buster and Eddie, and Dance mode on crop top from Gunter. She let out a breath relief "oh so I don't get a sparkly jacket to" she said trying to hide her joy. "Oh silly Rosita I could never forget about you it's just on back order" He sad cheerfully which she returned with a forced smile. She moved on to Mike and Charolttes gift, but gasped and nearly dropped it on the ground once she saw it.

"I remember you telling me how you wished that you had a pair of diamond stud earrings to go with your wedding ring, but you couldn't afford" Charolette said joy oozing from her voice. She was speechless at the beautiful diamonds in her hand, so instead she hugged both Mike and Charolette tightly forgetting about there size. "Can't- bre-ath" Mike puffed out trying to escape.

Next Johnny opened his gifts setting the one from Ash aside since they agreed to open theirs in private. He received dog tags that said that he belonged to the Moon theater family which made him wan to tear up since he didn't feel like he had a home. Then he got a gold piano light from mike, and grand piano from Buster; which he said was to stay at the theater, and of course a sparkly jacket from Gunter.

Mike went next getting a tie and hat from Meena and Ash, a watch from Rosita, a wallet from Johnny, a new saxophone fro Buster and Eddie, and a New case for the saxophone from his girl.

Ash went last and got a guitar from Buster and Eddie, a best friendship necklace from Meena, and a sparkly jacket from Gunter. But before she could open the box from Mike and Charolette, Charolette asked Ash to follow to the corner of the theater.

* * *

Ash's POV

"Now my dear a little bird has told me that someone has broken your heart" Charolette said. Ash gulped not wanting to talk about, and she was about to leave when she spoke up again. "So I want to give you this" she said handing Ash a golden heart locket. She opened it to see it was empty. "I want you to wear this as a reminder that he can't take your heart away no matter how hard he tries."

"It's beautiful, but I don't think I can" I said letting my eyes fall. She examined me skeptically trying decide how to gently approach this subject. "Well once you meet the right person give him this as your heart" Charolette said ignoring my protest.

I nodded reluctantly letting the locket slip around my neck, and tucking it into my shirt. We smiled at each other, and felt a small sliver of hope creeping through me; although I'm not quite sure why.

Once she left Johnny slid into the corner with me. "So what did she give you?" he asked looking straight ahead. "My heart" I said tensely and he didn't question it even though I know he wanted to.

"Well I have your present" he said looking at me for a split second before changing his eye direction. I graciously took the box peeling the silk red ribbon off, and opening the lid. Inside was a simple silver guitar pick with the chorus from my song Set it all free engraved on it. On th bottom was a small sketch of wild flowers and there petals were blowing away in the wind.

I pulled his sleeve so he would look at me; which he did. "Do you like it" he asked hesitantly. "Johnny I love it" I said pulling him in for a tight hug. He breathed relaxing into the hug. I pulled away and handed him my gift worried that it wouldn't be as great as his.

He carefully pulled out the scrapbook that I customized myself with lyrics from his song I'm still standing, and I also placed a string of music notes on the cover. He opened it and his smile just grew at all the pictures that I've taken since our first rehearsal for the fundraiser to us playing in the snow this morning.

"Ash this is just amazing, did you do it yourself?" He asked amazed. "Yeah I don't mean to brag, but my DIY skills are on point" I said jokingly. And at the moment an out of breath Mike ran up to us. "As much as I hate to interrupt your guys moment I need you Violet wants to open her gifts" he said pulling at his hat. We nodded following him, and I didn't notice it ,until Mike turned around smirking at us, but I was standing really close to Johnny like really close; yet I didn't move nor did he.

* * *

Charolette's POV

"Well my sweet lets get going" Mike said linking his arm with hers. Charolette looked at him confused "But aren't my gifts under the tree" she asked. "Not exactly" Buster said walking up the steps to the balcony where Mike and Charolette had their first date.

"Here is my gift to you" Buster said all smiles. She opened to reveal a black sleek frame with a quote "Love does unexpected things at unexpected times". She smiled at the both of them thinking that this really related to her and Mike because he was so spontaneous, and she didn't expect to fall for him.

Next they went to the practice room where Mike had serenaded her several different songs. Rosita walked over to a beautiful glass vase with an assortment of purple flowers and handed it to her. "Sorry they weren't really easy to wrap." She just smiled to show her appreciation and couldn't help bu remember that these were the exact same flowers that Mike had given her on that date.

Then they went to the break room where Meena pulled out a medium sized box. Charolette tore the paper off to her astonishment to see her favorite flavor of cake, French Vanilla. She smiled not wanting to be rude, but honestly she was really confused which caused everyone to laugh.

They went to the stage where she half expected to get a sparkly jacket from Gunter, but instead was handed a tulle veil with a small diamond tiara on top and applique on the bottom. "Um Gunter this sweet, but you do know that we are not getting married right" she said matter of factly. He laughed casually which kind of freaked her out even more. "Oh I'm not the one getting married" he giggled walking off stage leaving her there center stage by herself. She looked around to find Mike but he wasn't there. She was about to leave, but a smooth voice like Sinatra stopped her. She turned to see Mike descending on the Moon while singing Niall Horans This town

Charolette felt a lump rise in her throat as he touched the ground and walked towards her. As the chorus started he grabbed her and started slow dancing with him, and all she could think about was how much she loved this mouse.

Mike sang his heart out to her, and for a second he paused when she looked at him with her beautiful eyes; the world seemed to stop and it seemed as if they were the only ones there. He saw the tears well up in her eyes as he dipped her, and that was what got to him.

She couldn't help but tear up at this; I mean the mouse she loved was singing to here about how he would do anything and everything to dance with her, and she knew that he meant it.

He finished the song with a sly tip of his hat towards her ad she curtsied. "Charolette I know we haven't known each other for long, but since the very first day that I laid eyes on you I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. To me you were perfect in every way from your poise and grace to your kindness and beauty, so I knew there was no way I mouse like me could be with a mouse like you, but even then you agreed to go out with which I'm so glad you did because you've changed and saved me which is the reason I'm standing here today with you, and there is no other place I would rather be then with you right now. Which is why I want to make this official so I have a reason to be with you forever, so Charolette will you marry me."

He clutched her hand nervously while down on one knee and a ring box in his oter hand. Charolette was utterly speechless because the man she loved just proposed, and in the cutest way with everyone included.

"Of course I'll marry you Mike" I exclaimed throwing myself into his arms. His smile grew as he pulled me closer and slipped the ring on my finger. Everyone cheered and ran up onto the stage. Mike and I both noticed that Ash and Johnny were holding hands, and we smiled at each other knowing they were next.

I waved to Ash to get her attention and once I did I patted my heart and she patted her locket which made me even more emotional.

"Honey I meant to ask you earlier, but what did you give Ash?" He asked smiling over at the two were oblivious to each others feelings. I smiled at him snuggling closer to him before whispering in his ear "a heart she won't be afraid to give away."


	8. Chapter 8

Ash's POV

Ash released a depressing sigh as she entered her apartment, and let all the unfamiliar surroundings engulf her senses with a major overload of panic. She hated staying here but her mom said she had to do to some issues at there house. But that wasn't the point, the point was that she hated it here's; she hated all the memories she had with him, she hated how everything in this place was touched by him, and she especially hated how she let him control her in her own apartment.

Granted he was a jerk and there was no two ways around it, but she was also weak and let him degrade her. Oh she was given so many warnings, but denied all of them. Like how she had convinced herself that he just told her she wasn't the best at lead vocals because he wanted her to get better, or how all his negative comments were helping her. Why she did Ash didn't know because it took more brain power to come up with an excuse than just excepting the truth, and now her she was making an even bigger effort to escape the memories because she was to innocent to admit.

But it wasn't just her playing mind tricks on herself, it was also his not so frequent sweet comments that got her. The 'I'm sorrys' and 'I miss yous' is what really kept her with him, so it was just as much her mind trickery as it was his, but she still let him do it.

And everyday she defended him to her friends attempting to trick them to, but they weren't as naive as she was because they saw through the act, and they tried to help her but she never listened, and then one day he shut her out from them saying it was for the best because they didn't want her to be happy, and once again she obliged like the dog she was.

He played little part in the relationship never kissing her unless it was for his own pleasure, and even then it was never sweet and caring, but it was harsh and rough. Nor did he ever cuddle with her like all her friends gossiped about. He never showed her any affection, so he had nothing to do with the relationship, but at the same he was the one that controlled it; the one that told her how to dress, act, handle situations, and how to handle her singing career as his arm candy. Which she didn't mind at the time, or she did but she just pushed that to the back of her head because he was her first boyfriend so being his arm candy was a privilege to her, and she would do anything to get the little praise from him.

So for a long time she refused to see how bad it was until it was to late, until it destroyed her. Even then she couldn't leave it had been so long that he had his hand so tightly gripped around her neck that she could never get out of it. But she also had no will to live anymore since his actions destroyed her, so for awhile she was just a ghost drifting through life doing as Lance said just like before, but this time she had no hope or care that there relationship would work out. She was just there empty, hollow, and numb.

And the thought of her being numb made her sick that she almost didn't want to admit to it, but she was she had no feeling to try and change anything, but she also had no desire to live but at the same time didn't care enough about her depression to die, and it all really changed that day, the day he destroyed her and she no longer cared.

* * *

Flashback

"It's all your fault" Lance screamed. He turned towards her fists balled and eyes blazing. He could sense her fear and liked it. He liked how vulnerable and helpless she was at his power. Stepping closer to her he closed the gap between them making her shake with nerves. Of course he wouldn't hurt her, he never did, but he just liked the foreplay.

He gripped her shoulder with a firm grip, and she tried to hold his hand but he pushed away forcefully. "Babe I thought you said you were going to work on backing vocals." Lance now had her pinned against the wall with both hands gripping her shoulders. He released the one hand, but tightened the other one. He caressed from the top of her scalp down to her upper neck carelessly running his nails lightly along her skin. She winced at the sudden contact as his cool nails ran along the side her face extremely closely to her eye.

He released her letting her sharply fall go the ground with a thud. She could still feel his paw ramming her shoulder blade into the wall, and his nails along her skin. It creeped her out that he had this strange affect on her not desire nor fear, or so she thought.

He picked her head up squishing her cheeks with his hand. "Now Ash I'm going to have to sadly take your paycheck this week because you screwed up, you see how that works if you mess up you have to pay for it, but if it happens again then your punishment wil be much worse" his voice darkened as did his touch.

"Now let's be a good little girl and nod your head for me" he said evilly. He yanked my head up and down still squeezing my cheeks with his hand. Before releasing me and letting my head pound against the cool wood floor. But as my head neared the ground my eyes rolled back and time slowed. Forcefully I hit the ground, and as I did the world seemed to make a shattering noise and fall apart like mirror. I could make out faint screams in the back of my head, and suddenly it went black.

* * *

Once I woke up I had a different perspective on life, and on Lance but that didn't seem to change anything just make it worse.

I sighed knowing there was no way I was getting to sleep now with these fresh thoughts in my mind. So ultimately decided to go lay in my bed and play on my phone, but one I past that spot, the spot were it all went wrong my throat swelled and closed at the same time. My mouth went dry and my legs became weak. I tried fighting the odd pressure that was building up in my stomach but it didn't help because it just kept rising until the lump reached my throat. My head throbbed and the room span at an uncomfortable rate.

i tried thinking happy thoughts like how Johnny was always there for me with an undeniable feeling of friendship for me. But that didn't help because then I started thinking about how he could have a much better friend than me, but no the poor guys stuck with me. I mean he has to deal my mood which is like a light switch, my anxiety attacks, and he puts up with my brother I mean why does he stick around.

Suddenly I feel myself dialing his number, but my brain isn't connected with the rest of my body right now so I can't stop myself, but then again if I could stop myself would I or do I just really want his company right now.

"Hello Ash, don't you realize it's nearly midnight?" Johnny asked. His accent was thick with sleep, but she could still hear the twinge of worry for her, and that sent her stomach into a stirring ache again. "Well I... Um well I..." I to explain what happened but for some reason my throat closed once again.

He sighed with a slight chuckle ringing through the phone "I'll be right over." And then he hung up leaving Ash a confused mess with the ache still her stomach and the swollen lump stuck in her throat. She wondered why he just agreed come over even though he didn't know what was going on. Lance would definitely not have ever done that instead he would've scolded her for stuttering and say something along the lines of that I need to try harder to stop messing everything up.

Yet again here was another sign saying Johnnjy wasn't Lance, but still she hid from him in her shell. Every time he held out a hand she seemed to push him away; which must of been confusing for him because there was also the days she was fine and needed and craved to be. Lose to him. The poor guy she had him through so much, but still he was coming, coming to help her through a problem that he didn't even know about.

A sudden knock came to the door, but she couldn't bring herself up to go and open it, so she croaked out a simple it's open, and to her joy there stood Johnny tall, broad, and handsome as ever. He looked around franticly looking for, but once his hazel orbs landed on her he froze. There was the girl of his dreams curled up in a little ball quivering on the floor. She cocked her sideways, wincing as she did so, to see him better. He looked straight into her eyes that pleaded a silent help me. He ran to her side scooping her up in his arms ever so gently.

"Ash what happened" he asked gently walking over to the couch with her still in his arms. She tried to speak but she was paralyzed, paralyzed by the sensational feeling she got in her stomach at his touch, and by the fear that seemed to creep around the apartment haunting her. I inhaled sharply locking in on his caring facial expression, it was a new thing to her, care, that she was still trying to understand because for so long she was given none therefore she had none to give.

"I had a nightmare, well more like a. Flashback" she said as she found herself cuddling tightly to him with firm grip on his jacket as if the pain would take her and make relive it all again. He nodded urging her on, but he had no idea what he had gotten himself into.

She found herself telling him everything that happened, and he sat there politely nodding his head, and at a few points his eyes would widen, or he would pull her closer wanting to protect her since he couldn't back then. She even told him how she didn't think she was a good friend to him and how he deserved better.

"Johnny I shut you out, deny your help, and you just sit there deal with me, my brother, and my anxiety, I mean why do it when you can just leave, and you have right to" I pleaded now sitting up in his lap.

He stared at me for a bit not answering which was my biggest fear, he had no reason to stay.

"Ash I stay because I know you've been through a lot, and I want to be there the day you break the restraints this jerk has you locked up in. I stay because I love your brother and you, and finally I stay because you need me to." He looked away his eyes razing around the apartment; they wondered everywhere except back to me.

"And if I have to wait forever just to see you happy again then I'll wait because I'm not leaving your side until you are, and even then I will never leave." His eyes met hers and she could see the light pink blush on his cheeks as he spoke.

"Yes waiting feels like every hour feels like a day, and every day feels like a week, and every week feels like a month, and every month feels like forever, but it's worth because in the end I end up with you."

Ash didn't know what to say she had tears welling in her eyes, and the paralyzation was back holding her back from speaking, so instead she threw her arms around johnnys heck holding tightly refusing to let go as her tears spilled down his jacket.

"And these are the moments I wait for" he whispered holding her closely. She just nodded in agreement against his chest feeling more safe than ever before. He bent down towards her cheek and kissed it lightly before returning his head back to the top of hers.

She was surprised by his action but didn't mind surprisingly she actually enjoyed it, and didn't want this moment to end, but sadly soon they would both have to return back to reality and face the consequences of there lives, but for now she would just enjoy this.

"Please don't leave me" Ash whispered meekly pulling him closer.

"I don't plan on it" Johnny responded brushing back a few of her quills, and laying his head back on top of her head, and they stayed like that all night.


	9. Chapter 9

Ash stared intently at Charlotte as she twirled around in a cream colored wedding gown. It had a sweetheart neckline with violet and pink flowerers around the top, and the flowers also swooped up from the skirt. The skirt billowed out as she spun leaving Charlotte dizzy with an excited expression. Ash envied the bride to be hoping that one day she would be able to be in her place, happy and not looking back at the past but she didn't see that possible for her. Then again she did just turn nineteen so she had plenty of time.

Ash continued to wonder how it could ever be possible for her to get married. I mean she was such an unstable wreck right now, especially after the stunt she pulled last night with Johnny. She sighed at the thought, oh how nice he was to come to her rescue like that, but she knew it wouldn't always be like that. If she didn't make her move now and get over the fear then her breakdowns would eventually scare him off.

Ash clutched her heart locket in her hand wondering what she would do if she lost this one. How many chances and hearts can one girl get? Ash wondered quietly. She took a glimpse at the other girls drooling over Charlotte, and she felt twinge of jealousy come back and oh how she hated it. It was almost as bad as the attack she had last night, but this time it was smaller and stayed within her stomach.

Something twisted within her causing her gut to churn, and she almost let out a groan of agony. It wasn't that she wasn't happy for Charlotte, in fact it was kind of the exact opposite she was almost scared to be happy for her because once she gets happy things never tend to last.

"Ash go try this dress on please?" Charlotte asked politely holding up dress. She stood up carelessly snatching the dress from Charlotte causing the Meena and Rosita to snicker. Ash rolled her eyes stepping into the dressing room.

she slipped off her everyday clothes while examining the off white chiffon. It was simple and clean which Ash respected considering her style. Neckline was a loose halter top billowing out to the waist, and the bottom had knee high slit in it, which could be revealing. She sighed slipping it on, and to her astonishment it fit perfectly hugging her in all right places and billowing in all the others.

"Ohh Ash you look stunning" Meena squealed while handing Ash a floor crown and a paid of strapped heels. "Oh yeah there's more" she half way teased grabbing the stuff and putting it on. She looked at Rosita and Meena in there dresses, and Rositas was a strapless off white chiffon to, and Meenas had a loose v-nevk, but niether one had slits like Ash's.

Ash turned to see Charlotte changed into her regular clothes and an eager smile on her face. "Let's go show the guys right now" she squealed dragging them all along to the men's side of the store.

"Mike I wanted to compare the outfits with each couple to make sure fit together well is that alright" she cooed stroking his arm slowly. He nodded his head slowly mesmerized by her movements. Rosita stood next to Norman while Charlotte compared the two.

"This tie is just not right" she shrieked tossing it aside. She strut off to go find the lavender one she spotted early, and when she brought it back she was much more pleased. Next she stood Meena and Gunter together fixing his shoes and sending them on.

finally Ash stepped up onto the round podium next to Johnny feeling relaxed and tense at the same time and she wondered why. It wasn't like just last night she bawled in his arms so what was so different now. Was it the atmosphere or everyone being around them she wondered.

What really drove her crazy was that she didn't know what was going on because if she did she would fix it.

She snapped out of her thought when Johnny tapped her shoulder. "You look really beuatiful Ash" he mumbled nervously. She smiled slightly up at him as a thank you since her mouth seemed paralyzed.

"You to are just so perfect together" Gunter said catching there attention. Ash rolled her eyes dramatically giving him the what for look. "See what I mean everybody she's so moody all the time" Mike snapped causing Charlotte to giggle.

She looked at Ash for a second examining her before she placed her hand over her heart, and Ash did the same, but to her locket. Everyone looked at them with skeptical faces since they didn't know what the locket meant, but for some reason that made this moment that much more special to Ash.

"Well everyone you can all have the rest of the day off, but we have to head to the baker" Charlotte said directing the last part towards Mike and her. He playfully groaned causing Charlotte to playfully slap him.

The jealousy ash felt early rose again from somewhere deep inside her, and all she wished was for it to stop because she didn't want to feel that way to Charlotte especially after everything she's done for her, but they were so comfortable together and Ash knew she couldn't have that unless she bawling her eyes out at midnight.

* * *

The cool breeze nearly knocked her over as she left the store even though it wasn't strong. I guess it took her by surprise just like the jealousy did just a few minutes ago. She stopped in her tracks though hearing the revving of w very similar engine just behind her. She turned to see the cheeky gorilla she had such confusing feelings for waving at her from his car.

She waved back with a shiver and he pulled up closer. "I think you need a ride love, ya look a little cold" Johnny stated his accent thick. Ash hesitated memories of last night flashed through her head. the last thing she wanted was to receive pity from people especially Johnny. She wanted him to pay attention to her for her personality not her past. Eventually she jumped in without a word and he drove off.

"Ash I want to talk about us" he stated briefly taking his eyes off the road to search her, but turned them back once they started to swerve. "Is there something wrong" she asked worried her desperation last nigh had ruined everything.

"No not at all, I just wanted to share my true feelings for you" he said blushing. "Oh Johnny I think you're just the greatest friend" Ash said forcefully trying to turn the conversation in a different direction.

"No ash not like that, I mean something more" and after that sentence he stayed quiet waiting for her to say something but she didn't. What was she supposed to do confess her love even though it might not be true, be honest, or lie through her teeth. Johnny's breathing became more heavy the longer she took to respond so finally she blurted. "I'm not sure how I feel then" she finally spoke her heart heavy.

"Well I love you" he said so effortlessly it made her feel even more jumbled.


	10. Chapter 10

**So I just wanted to say to that my brother competed in the special olympics for the first time this past weekend. Our school has always declined our request to make a team, so my dad filled out all the paperwork officially certifying him as a coach and he trained my brother and other students that wanted to participate. So they went to a qualifying meet, but it was rained out so they drew names from a bin, and my brother was chosen for the softball throw. When the volunteer lined the kids up for awards and led my brother to the first place spot he immediately threw his arms inthe air and screamed "finally I'm a winner" which made me and my mom cry because to my family he's always been a winner, so I'm extremely proud of him.**

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Ash's POV

"Well I love you." He said it so simply and easily she envied to do it to, but it wasn't that easy. It wasn't that she had never said it before because she had told Lance on many occasions that she loved him, but every time he said it to her it was fake. She knew Johnny wasn't faking but something about saying these three specific words hurt her more than words can explain.

At the same time she felt Johnny deserved the simple reply back because he had been through so much with her and had not left her side. He proved along time that he truly loved her and she knew it but it didn't make the task any easier.

"Ash you don't have to say it back I just had to get it off my chest" he said quickly probably regretting that he said it in the first place, but ash wanted to tell him it was ok, actually she needed to. She inhaled calming herself before turning in her seat to face Johnny who was trying his best to focus on the road.

"But Johnny you don't even know how badly I want to say it to because I think you deserve that at least. I mean like I mentioned last night you dealt with so much since I've come into your life, and I feel like I'll never be able to repay you for it."

Now it was his turn to sigh because all he wanted to do was make her realize how much she really meant to him, so he could handle the challenges as long as she was there with him. "Honestly I don't think you realize how much you mean to me, I'm willing to be there for you because it means I get to see you happy in the end, and like I said last night I'm willing to fight and wait for you as long as you're happy" he said a small smile spreading on fis handsome face.

Ash blushed a bright crimson as he spoke letting his words sink, and letting herself believe them. Now she was positive she could say it, but she'd been positive for awhile now, but it had to be the right moment.

Johnny gazed at her from the corner of his eye hopefully waiting for her to say something, but she didn't she just looked out her window her blue eyes shining. He dropped his head which Adh realized and she instantly felt guilty. Here he was pouring his heart out to her and she just stringed him along.

She reached for his hand intertwining her small fingers with his larger ones. He looked a hopeful smile plastered on his face. Johnny now directed his full attention on Ash as she parted her lips.

"I lo..." She stopped as they approached a four way stop another car coming out to the left of them. Johnny pressed the breaks trying to make the car come to screeching stop, but it was no use. Ash screamed as she the world slowed and the car ran right into them. Everything not only slowed, but the once bustling noise that once filled her ears seemed to be muted. A crazy pounding erupted inside her as Johnny laid over lifeless, at the moment she seemed unharmed which made her regret her decisions more, this was her fault.

"Johnny" she croaked attempting to move, but seemed to be stuck. Soon sirens blasted through the outside world making her eardrums bleed. Again time slowed as firefighters ejected the two from the car. Soon she was walking along the road with help of a nurse.

Her arm was broken and she had a few bruised ribs, but nothing major. Johnny on the other hand hadn't even moved a muscle since the crash. Ash felt miserable if she would've said something as soon as he said it they wouldn't be here, he wouldn't be here.

The nurse eventually started shoving her lightly towards ambulance, as more doctors lifted Johnny into the ambulance. He was on a stretcher with a neck brace tightly wrapped around his neck. She climbed in wrapping her hand around one of his fingers worried that she could make his condition worse.

She couldn't help the tears that slipped from her eyes he might die and he never got to know the truth.

"Johnny I love you, I love you so much I need you please don't give up on me, please."


End file.
